A lady friend of mine, let's call her Candice, recently renewed a friendship with an estranged girlfriend, let's call her Julie. Candice had been working for a long time to build up the courage to get herself out of a bad situation. She wanted to clean up her act, go back to church, and leave her less than desirable way of life.
She and Julie talked of renting apartment together as a way of helping them both get out of bad situations. Shortly after renewing their friendship, Julie talked (read: blabbed, gossiped) about Candice's problems with other members of the church. Some (at least one) of these church members apparently judged Candice as being unworthy to belong to their group, and took an immediate dislike to her.
Now Candice feels that all her hard work and good intentions are for naught. Those feelings are very understandable. I would most likely feel the same way myself if someone betrayed my confidences. Candice feels like everyone at the church will be staring at her and thinking the worst of her. If she ever does go back to church, it will be with extreme trepidation, even though it is, in fact, what she wants more than anything else in the world.
I am familiar with the people of this religious community. I have known many of them since they were babes in their mother's arms. They are not mal-intentioned or mean-spirited. They have their own problems. It goes without saying that none of them are perfect either. Candice suffering from the delusion that everyone in the congregation will be looking down their noses at her. She is imagining a worst-case scenario of what these people are going to be thinking of her, and then reacting to that mythology as if it were the truth.
The truth of the matter is that most people are so concerned with themselves that they don't have time to worry about anybody else's problems. Another truth is that Candice still has the freedom to choose her actions for herself. She can choose to ignore the lies in her head and go to church anyway to get the spiritual nourishment that she so desires.
1 comment:
Don't you think there is irony somewhere in the fact that someone fears gossip and others' opinion in a place of worship where the only thing that is supposed to matter is the love of god?
Makes me wonder. Do we really care about God? Or is it another one of those things people continue doing cos they are too lazy to stop and think about what it all really means?
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